Unsocial media
What is Facebook? Facebook used to be a platform for US College kids at Harvard to communicate with each other simply and effectively, so they could organise parties, and do the things that Harvard College kids used to do. It was called “The Facebook”, and it served a definite purpose. The posts were all personal communications from one person to another, or a group. It was a way to link up with people.
This morning, my Facebook home page feed has the following posts in order:
Someone sharing that they have stocked up on PG Tips due to the Tesco/Unilever spat.
A shared video from “Superstar Magazine” about a plus-size model on a fashion catwalk.
An advert from “Vintage Photo Lab” about scanning old prints.
One of those Minion memes asking to be shared if “You love your niece”.
An ad for Fuji Mirrorless Cameras.
An ad for the AOP (Association of Photographers) about exhibition space rental.
A promotional post from a business by someone I know.
A comment on a clickbait post by “The Lad Bible”
An ad for “Beerhawk” craft ales.
An ad for “The Flash Centre” in London – featuring Elinchrom lights.
An “emotional video” shared by a friend about marriage or something.
Another Ad from The Flash Centre.
Another promo from the same business as No.7
An ad from 123 Reg – my web hosting provider.
An ad from “tails.com” about dog food which was “liked” by someone.
Another Lad Bible shared video about pencil carving.
A Promo from Beamish Hall shared by two people.
A memory shared from 4 years ago about a fun run.
A memory shared from 3 years ago, about an in-joke with someone else.
A group post by “Angry people in local newspapers”
An ad from “Perkbox” about employee benefits.
Someone has liked “CSS Checkbox” website.
Someone has liked “Ramside Hall”
One of those posts that say you wont share this lengthy rhetoric about cancer.
An ad for Taylor Wimpey overpriced new-build houses in Alnwick
A humorous personal post (at last) about watching the tiger in TheLife of Pi.
Someone giving a heads-up to their involvement in a forthcoming horse-trials.
A shared memory from 2 years ago about someone dying.
A sweary, shared meme from a group called “Cuntology”.
A shared photo from a group called “March against Monsanto”. about food additives.
One of those memes about “Not giving a hell” by “Being Offended”
An ad from American Express. (Do they still exist?)
A list of birthday wishes to a Facebook Friend.
A shared ad from Boots.
Another ad from Fujifilm.
A shared video from Ringo Starr asking people to stop sending fan-mail.
A shared photo from “Floral Dance to be the 2016 Children in Need Song”
A shared animation about some wind turbine thing that draws moisture from the air.
An ad from “Office for Business” about some bullshit software for your phone.
Someone is going to an event 200 miles away.
The Friday North East photos from BBC Radio Newcastle (sunset at the Angel anyone?)
I’m getting bored with it now – you’ve got the picture though; Adverts, promotional things, shared motivational photos, and only two actual status updates. Facebook used to be about hearing things about the people you knew – whether it was old workmates, school pals, or family members. It was a way of keeping in touch about arrangements, catching up with photos of nights out, and funny things that had happened. Whinges were my favourite. It’s now just a platform for individuals and businesses to promote products, services, and sad extreme views to a wide range of people with no opposition. The recent referendum on leaving the EU was a prime example. Leading up to this, I viewed so many horrible memes, it made me consider my nationality. Do I really live in a place with so many bigots in it? Apparently so.
Facebook has become like The Matrix – a virtual space where people live out their fantasies by telling the world how successful and happy they are. I do it myself unintentionally. If you look up my website, or peruse many of the historical entries in this blog, you would imagine that I’m a world-renowned interiors guy with a book of orders stretching into the distant future. The truth is that I’m very busy, but I don’t make a lot out of it, and haven’t actually paid myself a penny for a few months in an attempt to pay off a huge tax bill which I incurred 2 years ago, but was unable to make provision for due to a major change in circumstances. I suspect that a lot of selfie-addicts with businesses are in the same boat, but they prefer to add another few grand to the credit card bill for an unaffordable holiday instead of admitting that they’re Pink Lint. My aim is to remove Facebook habits from my day because everyone’s great lives are making me feel like a complete failure. I’ll get onto that, but not yet, as somebody has just posted some new Thug Life clips. See you in an hour.
