Public image Ltd.
I was just sat here in front of my computer thinking about all sorts of random stuff – the comedy of the US presidential election process, the division in our society caused by the ridiculous Brexit referendum thing, why testicles drift about randomly in their little saggy, scrotal homes, and why I’ve missed the last four series’ of “Still Game”. Then it came to me – Freelance photographers who put a logo on their photos, websites, business cards etc. are wankers. Who do they think they are? I had one of course, and immediately proceeded the removal of every trace of a logo on everything I could muster. I’m not a company with a “brand’ – I’m a lone dude with some camera equipment, and a certain skill set who hires himself out to various people in return for financial compensation. The vast majority of those people couldn’t care less about a “brand”, and only employ my skills in order to get a job done to make their lives easier. We’ve been brainwashed for the last 20 years that we need to have a public image in order to make ourselves legitimate, however small. Every self-employed twat has a logo now – dog walkers, plumbers, cleaners, grass-cutters, and especially those freelance "landscape photographers" who tend to take over-processed, cliched pictures of the Northumberland or Tyneside landscape. Half of these people deal solely in cash, and pay little or no tax towards our fantastic public services, whilst bigging themselves up as entrepreneurs on the wonderful world of social media of course (and you know how much I love that). If you look at the Evening Chronicle website on a Friday afternoon, it features a selection of readers’ photos of the region from the week, and a quarter of them have watermark logos on them annotated with “BillyBob Photography” or whatever. For god’s sake – you’ve sent a digital photo to the Chron, you’re not Annie bloody Leibovitz (who, incidentally, doesn’t even have a website, never mind a logo).
So that’s another task off my back. No more resizing logos for business cards, or website headers. It’s just me.
Finally, if you’re determined to get yourself a logo, make sure you use “Fiverr”, as you will get one of the biggest laughs that you’ll ever get in your lifetime. I searched for days looking for the best third-world script kiddie to design me a world-leading brand icon to take my blog to new levels, and found a dude in Bangladesh who sounded like they’d churned out some incredible work over the last few years for some big players. I paid my £20 ( enough to buy a house in Bangladesh) upfront for the service, and sent him my existing logo, plus a comprehensive brief, as requested along the lines of “A rectangular, landscape shaped logo utilising the colours RGB, and the blog name – 3ps – and then conveying the nature of the business – high end interior and architectural imagery” This is what I got:
Genius…….absolutely bloomin’ genius. Twenty notes for 5 minutes work. This guy could afford to buy Bangladesh at this rate. Anyway, ditch your logo, and don’t be a self-aggrandising tit all your life.
