Lock’em up

the quest for “likes” is a pursuit which i’ve never understood. The phenomenon exists because of people’s need to be seen, and i’ve always preferred life in the trenches. Consequently I eschew the social media fervour with all my heart - leaving it to brain-dead tossers whose raison d’être is amassing views of their puerile attempts at video creation. There’s a special place against the wall for “influencers” who influence f**k all in my world. I was once contacted by an agency who wanted to grant me the unbelievable opportunity to photograph some garden for some “influencer”, but when it came to talking numbers (I say talking, but they only converse via text and WhatsApp etc.), they soon went off the boil. “influence this you twat”.

Anyway, I was shooting a refurbished “villa style” property in a less-salubrious section of the People’s Republic of Sunderland recently, and was met with a back door that said more about the location than any words possibly could. I cursed as I hypocritically posted the video to my scant Instagram account as it was quite amusing, and to my astonishment it started getting thousands of views. It wasn’t one of those “viral” things, but nevertheless, it shows that fleeting fame is only a few clicks away. Now….where’s my Chinese-made ring light and mini skirt?